Super-Man = Lame

Don't take my title out of context on this one. I fucking love me some spandex and a cape. The Superman franchise obviously took a dive with Superman Returns, more commonly known as a piece of shit. Warner Bros newest plan for Superman is to reboot the fucking thing. I'm 99% positive that everyone in the world knows who Superman is, and his origin story..in fact, I can bet that more people know Superman's origin than the origin of Jesus H. Christ.

The only thing that I think may come good out of all this is that Superman rebooted means that it will become almost even with the continuity of the Batman series..Justice League anyone?

CFOB

I don't know if anyone has been following all this viral b.s. But I'm going nuts, everytime Pete Wentz mentions ANYTHING that has ever been in a Midtown song I want to believe him that he knows something I don't know. The answer to all this should come out tomorrow, and if it's just Mr. Wentz promoting a new election day cd release I'll probably murder him. I want Midtown back..now that I think about it, why the fuck are any of us looking at Pete Wentz for any information regarding a Midtown reunion. That would be like Jordan Pundik giving hints at blink-182 reuniting. Anyways, this time tomorrow if I'm not pre-ordering Midtown tickets, I may burn my house down.

savetheworldlosethegirl

Jakez

New Stuff Around Here

It's been a while folks, a few things are going to be changing around here real soon. First and foremost I now have a partner in reviewing, I guess you could call him the Superman to my Batman, Starsky to my Hutch, Nightwing to my..Poison Ivy. (His joke) Anyways, his name is Josh and he will be reviewing stuff and posting his thoughts on this blog as well.

Like I previously stated, there are some new changes coming around..not only will I be starting up reviewing cd's weekly, I am adding to my reviews with a comic book review weekly and comic news posted on a regular basis. I also will be restarting my weekly wrap-up of entertainment news, that will begin next week. Hopefully, this will all last and maybe I'll get some comments.

Jakez

Arrested Development alum Tony Hale has scored a recurring role on NBC's Chuck, in which he'll be laying down the law, so to speak.

Per the Reporter, Hale will arrive at Chuck's store, Buy More, as a corporate efficiency expert who steps in as the new assistant manager. Once he sees how poorly things are run at the store, he decides to stay on for a while — and will no doubt wreak a little havoc in the meantime. - tvguide.com


this news couldn't wait until my weekly wrap-up. I love Chuck, and I loved AD, and now they will become merged in this miraculous way. hell yes.

Reviews for June 3rd 2008

Not the greatest week in the history of music, I was so dissapointed by the music I was hearing that I didn't quite finish my list. I promise next week I will finish them all, its been a hectic week with graduation and exams. So, here you go!

Alesana – Where Myth Fades To Legend

I’m never going to lie in the reviews section that much I can tell you all for sure. So to be honest with you the only time I had heard this band before was on their acoustic track for the Punk Goes Acoustic 2 compilation. I enjoyed the song they included on that, but never bothered to look any further into them. I knew the whole time they were a post-hardcore type band so there was no surprise going into that. The thing I LOVE about this cd is the way a few of the tracks start out brutal and rocking your face off and then end with a slower almost ballad type sound.

However, Christian screamo doesn’t make any sense to me. Although the music is super enjoyable half of the time, I can’t help but think of pastors at the pulpit screaming nonsense at an unwilling congregation. The lyrics on most of the songs just come across completely cheesy and ruins a lot of the emotional value being given across by the musicianship displayed on the album. For example, the guitar work on the track Seduction is flawless but the song gets annihilated by Shawn Mike’s awful attempt at creating emotion with his words. I almost would have liked this cd better if it were instrumental. Okay, that’s not true; Shawn Mike has an incredible fucking voice.

This band has to be incredible live, there’s no way they can’t be. So I am officially adding them to my list of bands that have to be seen at Warped this summer. I recommend you add them to your list of the same name.

Standout Track(s): Better Luck Next Time, Prince Charming; Seduction
For fans of: Underoath’s “They’re Only Chasing Safety”, Emery’s “The Weak’s End”

Vocals: 5/5
Musicianship: 4.5/5
Lyrics: 1/5
Replay Value: 3/5
Creativity: 2/5

Overall Score: 15.5/25 (62%)

Disturbed – Indestructible

It bothers me to even think about listening to a Disturbed cd. But I’m a noble reviewer, and I’ll give it a fair chance. From the second the police sirens sound on the first track it is clear to me that I will never enjoy anything Disturbed puts out. I don’t know why I just can’t like this band, I have enjoyed other bands that sound like Disturbed. To me they remind me of this band that was together in my High School a few years ago, Negligence. Talk about douche bags. They were a band of jocks who got together and took their shirts off and played Metallica covers. To me, Disturbed seems like Negligence, if they had wrote original songs. Anyways, that’s not the point of this review.

Nothing about this cd should be enjoyed by any thinking human being. Its nonsense attitude and cheap step-by-step metal attitude pisses me more than I can imagine. Every person who has ever been in a High School type setting has went to school with the kid that this cd was written specifically for. The kind of person who sits alone in a corner wearing all black, thinking their more hardcore than anyone because they know how to turn on JJO on their 5 dollar alarm clock radio. Most of us even went through that phase, and then we grew up. Disturbed keeps dishing out the same record and throwing them at that kid, and that kid keeps buying. Their should be a cleansing moment when we line up every person who ever bought, thought about buying or is planning on buying a cd by Disturbed and murder every last one of them.

I don’t even want to go into exact details about the altitude to which this cd blows chunks. The guitar work has been done before, the screaming sounds awful, the vocals lack originality, the lyrics are written by 12 year olds, and whomever produced this stands no chance at ever living a normal life. I’m sorry if you’re a fan of this band, but good god, this is awful.

Standout Track(s): They all sound EXACTLY the same
For fans of: Disturbed

Vocals: 1/5
Musicianship: 1.5/5
Lyrics: 1/5
Replay Value: 1/5
Creativity: 1/5

Overall Score: 5.5/25 (22%)

Gavin Rossdale – WanderLust

Ah, the art of post-grunge solo albums. Move over Daughtry, Gavin Rossdale could kick your ass. I really like this cd, I normally don’t like music like this but Rossdale’s voice is amazing. I was never a fan of Bush, and I’m not too much a fan of wife Gwen Stefani, so there is really no reason I should like this cd. But I do. I hope this is just a one-off type cd because I think if there were to be a follow up it would sound most definitely exactly the same to this cd, and that is always a huge turn off for me.

The songs on this cd leave that feeling you get in your stomach when you know your listening to something good. Each song has it’s own flavor without everything becoming to disoriented. The only down-side to this cd is Rossdale isn’t the best at slower songs, which is viewable on the song Love Remains. However, the heart-felt lyrics and emotion driven in from the piano make up for that, and the song is still beautiful. Of course there is a few downsides to this album such as grunge-crap-tastic track, If You’re Not With Us You’re Against Us. Unfortunately, I see this song being a huge hit on a radio station that plays music like this.

Overall, if you ever liked Bush or enjoy a bit of raspiness in your rock stars, check this cd out. I liked it, you should too.

Standout Track(s): Frontline; The Trouble I’m In
For fans of: Bush, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam

Vocals: 5/5
Musicianship: 3/5
Lyrics: 3/5
Replay Value: 4/5
Creativity: 3/5

Overall Score: 18/25 (72%)

Weezer – Weezer [Red Album]

How old is Rivers Cuomo? I’m just curious, I better go hit up Wikipedia. He is 37. While we’re at it, lets look at some other Rivers facts. He got married in 2006 and has a daughter. He is vegetarian and he has graduate from Harvard. So why the hell does he continue to write lyrics that children could have put out? I think it’s time for the Weez to hang it up, this album is awful.

Where do I even start on this disaster? The album’s opening track, Troublemaker, sounds as if Rivers wanted to write another song, almost exactly like Beverly Hills, only slightly worse. By that I mean, the entire song is about him preparing to be a rock star, because he’s a trouble maker. This man has been a rock star since the 90’s, you know, back when people actually respected him. Trust me, the awfulness of this cd doesn’t end on track 1, it continues on to track 2 where the song begins with River’s best attempt at gangsta rap. Pathetic. He then goes on to proclaim he is “The Greatest Man that Ever Lived.” I totally agree; what a great talent.

The songs are all over the place, not a single track feels like it belongs where it is placed on the cd. They are still super talented at their writing skills and every track has amazing musicianship, which balances out a little bit of the suckage. I think Rivers plan was to make a cd with as many catchy puns in it as he could to attract back the middle school age crowd that he found with the song Beverly Hills. Sadly, I think his plan is going to work and we are going to see a huge resurgence of horn-rimmed glasses.

The only song that stands out to me as an actual good Weezer song would have to be Heart Songs. One of the bonus tracks included on the cd was a cover of the song The Weight by The Band, and I must admit they do it very good. I never actually liked the original version of this song but with Weezer doing it, it sounds phenomenal. Sadly, I actually enjoyed their last cd, Make Believe so I had high hopes for this cd. What a letdown.

Standout Track(s): Heart Songs; The Angel and The One
For fans of: Crappy Music

Vocals: 3/5
Musicianship: 4/5
Lyrics: 1/5
Replay Value :2/5
Creativity: 1/5

Overall Score: 11/25 (44%)

Album to buy this week: I almost can't believe I'm not recommending a Weezer cd, but if you want to hear some good music this week seriously check out the debut solo album by Gavin Rossdale. I'm sure some of you won't find the same enjoyability that I did from it, but maybe you will. Or just listen to the Blue Album by Weezer, cause that's what I've been doing.

Agree, Disagree, Death Threats? hit the comments.

Nothing Good Happens After Midnight

Happy Sunday everyone! Just a few thoughts today, I was just watching a rerun of Scrubs on Comedy Central and I saw a terrifying commercial for the restaurant Denny's in which they strap a man to a catapult and shoot him over some bushes. (not the president's family.) That's not the terrifying part, their catch phrase was Nothing Good Happens After Midnight. Which is not true at all for any fans of How I Met Your Mother, because we all learned that Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

So this is an open call out to Denny's to change their ad, or I will gain lots of weight and publicly proclaim that I eat at Denny's every day of the week.

Entertainment Wrap-Up #1

IT’S Saturday, time for Entertainment Wrap-Up
(5/31/08)

Movie News

• 30 Days of Night writer, Steve Niles, has begun work on a remake of the classic Frankenstein film entitled, Wake the Dead. Any excitement this news could give anyone (I don’t know why it would) will immediately be taken away with who Steve has hired to direct this film, Jay Russell, you may remember him from the shit-fest Ladder 49. The only details of the plot to be found thus far are, “A group of med students who experiment with reanimating the dead.” How original?

• The sequel to Donnie Darko has gotten some casting announcements this past week, and not to anyone’s surprise they hired the most high of class actors they could find! Elizabeth Berkley (Showgirls, Saved by the Bell) and Briana Evigan (Step Up 2 The Streets.) Now if that just doesn’t smell Oscar I don’t know what does.

• Director David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) has signed a deal with Universal to make another comedy with his fellow college buddy Danny McBride (The Foot Fist Way) titled Your Highness. The movie is about a lazy, douche of a prince (most likely McBrides character, this seems to be the only character he plays) who must complete a quest to save his fathers kingdom. Producer Scott Stuber says the movie will contain CGI Dragon’s AND Wizards. Color me excited. (No sarcasm this time, I love Danny McBride.)

• Jason Segel has started filming his second leading role (first being Forgetting Sarah Marshall), entitled I Love You, Man. The movie co-stars Paul Rudd, and I have a clip to share with anyone interested in seeing what it’s about. And yes, that is the original Hulk. Watch it Here.

• Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) hinted at the possibility of him working on a movie version of the smash video game series God of War. That’s actually all I have for that one.

• Good news for Transformers 2, it has been confirmed that Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro will all beback for the sequel. Also joining the cast is The Office’s Rain Wilson, playing a college professor at Sam’s college. Megatron’s agents decline to comment.

• Wait a minute, I knew there was something I forgot to mention about Brett Ratner, he’s working on Beverly Hills Cop 4! Paramount is hoping to film in 2009 with a 2010 release date. Oh how I wish no one told Eddie Murphy the writers strike was over.

• Here’s some weird news (Yes, weirder than Beverly Hills Cop 4) Disney has revealed plans to start a comic book company, for the purpose of developing said comic books into movies. If I’m not mistaken, wouldn’t it be easier to, I don’t know, just come up with an idea for an original movie? Maybe not.

• Spider-Man 4 is moving ahead and rumor is that Tobey Maguire is not interested, on Wednesday a worker at Sony Pictures said they are in talks with other actors to play the web-slinging hero. Thursday, however, Sony denied the rumor that they are looking at anyone other than Tobey. Aww, how cute. The rumor is for the movie to be released in either 2011 or 2012, with Spider-Man 5 being filmed directly behind it.

• Quentin Tarintano, not so candidly, at the Cannes Film festival announced his next movie will be a WWII remake titled INGLORIOUS BASTARDS. Apparently, this is big news?

• Robert Downey Jr is in final negations with to be playing Hugh Hefner in the upcoming biopic titled, Playboy. Although I love RDJ, I would prefer he go straight to work on Iron Man II, than wasting his time playing Hef. Don’t we all get enough of him on The Girls Next Door?

In Frat Pack news

• Owen Wilson’s film Marley & Me has gotten moved up from its Christmas Day release to a release date of Dec. 19. It’s hard to say if this is a good thing or not, only time will tell.

• Director Shawn Levy promises Night at the Museum 2 will have “a better script, bigger cast and bigger action.” The entire cast of the first movie is rumored to return, hopefully this means Paul Rudd will also be returning for this because in my opinion he stole that movie.

• My most anticipated comedy of the year has finally released a red-band trailer. Check it out here.

TV News

• 22-year old Project Runway winner, Christian Siriano, got himself into a spat of trouble over this past weekend, when asked about why drag-queens remain an everlasting part of the gay community, Christian responded with “If you think of heterosexuals, they have white-trash women and trailer parks, and we have drag queens and trannies." This obviously upset most of his fan-base, since a recent poll shows that 97% of his fans are in fact white trash, and they are furious to be compared to drag queens and trannies.

• It pains me to write about this one. Clay Aiken is preparing to be a baby daddy. Record Producer James Foster, recently was artificially inseminated with Clay Aiken’s man-juices.

• This just in, the most flamboyant child in the universe will be born, 9 months from now. Brace yourselves.

• How I Met Your Mother producer Greg Malins has recently signed a deal guaranteeing at least two more seasons of the hit tv show, plus a chance at making more original programming for the CBS network. This news has taken this weekend from awesome to legen-wait for it-dary.

That’s it for this week, come back next week for more mind-altering stories!